I can say this, when I retired from teaching school you know I taught a long time, and my family's just -- my mother went `92, then I went to Europe in '94, and I said well I'm out of school now I can get back to really performing. Then my son was taken sick and he passed in '96. And oh God, that was -- I won't even talk about it too much. And there was some malpractice involved and that made it even worse. He had a perforated intestine and they just messed all over it, so it made it very difficult for me. I was in therapy for eleven months, and doing pretty good. And last month my brother went. But I must understand that we don't come to stay here forever. I had my mother and dad a long time. Mother was in her 80's and daddy was in his mid-70's. But the loss of a child at 36, he was my drummer, see, did business for me, had a little property that he managed, and it was just mind blowing. So Al got me to my therapy classes and I did a lot of praying.  My minister prayed with me much, and there were times when I thought I couldn't make it.